Me reading my old toots: God I'm a comic genius, why don't people like my content?
Also me: Oh wow, that's trash, how do I live with myself?

If you're a hero just go ahead and join the Super Team of Universe Pals In Defiance of Destruction, just add S.T.U.P.I.D.D to your name and/or bio

Wait if we're gonna have a league of villain surely we need a league of heros? Anyone want to volunteer for that?

Gtg, see you in a few days, for now my gay powers are needed elsewhere!

Guys I'm going on tour, I may end up in a trash heap near YOU! Book tickets now

I guess reverse psychology is just waisted on you guys, huh?

You are not allowed to retoot, reply to, or even fave this toot. Don't do it

I'm gay and tired. Boost this if you're gay and tired

Me: I hate every Human on the planet.
Also me: I love my tootuals with all of my heart and soul, maybe even all of mind, they're great.

Kid: I'm not gay, and that's a swear word
Me: *looks at gay bar across the street* to be fair "I'm not gay" may as well be a swearword

Me: hey mastodon!
At least half of mastodon: doesn't even see my toot

Kid: It's the queen's palace!

The building is in fact called "the royal hotel" so close enough I guess...

milk is good in theory but also has a bad aftertaste so i dont trust it

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Berries is a mastodon instance focused on diversity.