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@asptia @gen i have Borderlands Personality Disorder (prof dx).

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my dad is constantly watching these rly clickbait-y MCU trailer analysis and theory videos, and i can hear the annoying host's voice from downstairs.

donnie :ghost: boosted

*googles 'how to become a tiny novelty train conductor'*

donnie :ghost: boosted
donnie :ghost: boosted

if you remember the o rly owl you get an internet boomer discount

confession: i really like true crime. i just do not participate in the fandom bc i hate everyone who stans murderers lmfao.

donnie :ghost: boosted

my brother took the fuckin shower. -_-
now i have to wait.

he doesn't have work until 3 hours after me. why does he have to go first. >:^(

donnie :ghost: boosted
donnie :ghost: boosted

All right campers, I just heard from my good friend that SOME of you aren’t gay? Not cool dude

i thought i was actually pretty good at Cookie Run until the fucking Grand Champions League or w/e. the 5th round and quarter finals are fucking STUPID fast. my little thumbs can't keep up. :,^(

if my fiancé isn't here to make me take care of myself, who will.....

i need to shower and eat smth before woooork. someone please tell me to get my ass in gear.

donnie :ghost: boosted

I am the tiny dancer Elton John warned you about

donnie :ghost: boosted

As one could imagine, i make an excellent projectile

donnie :ghost: boosted
donnie :ghost: boosted

My New Startup: Doxifake.tech

For only $19.99/month, we'll seed the Internet with plausible looking misinformation about where you live, what you do for a living, who you've shagged and what crimes you've been accused of.

Our SEO gurus will ensure our fake results always get more exposure than your real identity.

Beat the trolls at their own game.

Get Doxifake today.

donnie :ghost: boosted

also! rats have little hands with thumbs and are extremely intelligent. dont wear dangle or hoop earrings when handling them unless u know they wont get up on ur shoulders. trust me.

donnie :ghost: boosted

rats dont even eat cheese thats a myth. cheese is high in fat and you should only give rats cheese as a treat, and even then only once a week at most. fresh fruit and veggies are much better for them!

donnie :ghost: boosted

Guys im on the phone with the government anything you wanna say to them?

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Berries

Berries is a mastodon instance focused on diversity.